I’m annoyed. At myself. I never learn. This time last year it was the same.
Last year I met a guy who was 7 years older. He liked me, I liked him. Problem? I don’t think so. Age in my eyes, is only ever a number.
We went on a date and got on like a house on fire. Then, one evening he just cut everything and said he couldn’t get over the age gap. Excuses like, we were at two different life stages and we want different things came flooding in. I didn’t get a say and he wasn’t willing to try.
Then fast forward a year, I had an itch to scratch. I had to text him. So I took the bull by the horns. We went for a few drinks and everything was so easy flowing. He made the first moved, held my hand and kissed me.
The second date came around and everything went smoothly. Then, rewind to the age gap. It still bothers him, and it bothers him that it doesn’t matter to me. No matter what I said it wouldn’t change his mind.
Maybe I shouldn’t have texted him. I was willing to give it a shit. I was hoping things would be different. I haven’t liked someone, the way I do him, in a long time. I want to give it a go. See where things went. Say, we tried and it didn’t work, and not, what if.
Yes I may want a relationship, but I haven’t had anyone close to me in such a long time. Someone just to cuddle or vent with or just sit and do nothing. I’m sick of waiting and sick of people saying ‘Oh your still single?’
I look round my friends who are all seeing someone or in couples and wonder what’s wrong with me. Yes, I know there’s actually nothing wrong with me but it would be nice to have a person who wants me.
Men need to be loved, women need to be wanted
– Gemma Teller, SOA.